SO, I thought I was doing well with my emotions lately. Until this morning, waking up in utter fear has been quite the normal for me, when I first found out about my little one. But this morning was different.I woke up this morning in fear, yep, fear. Nothing more nothing less. I am scared of having Angelina. I am fearful of her condition. As long as I am pregnant she is safe and although her condition is real it will not seem real until she is born. All of the unknowns become reality and all the "what if's" become truth. I have been feeling a little resentful lately also. There are women all around me having healthy babies, and mine I don't know, I don't know what to expect. I want to be happy about my pregnancy but it is hard. The word Spina Bifida is ALWAYS in the back of my mind, and not only is it fearful for me i already resent it.
I try living in the "Just for Today" but it is hard when all I really want to know is what Angelina's future has in store for her. What our family has in store. Ugh, all these "what if's" drive me nuts, AND so does these darn emotions!!
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